


study notes

by ungodlyi



Series: introspective ii [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Study, Developing Friendships, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Multi, Other, Third Gym (Haikyuu!!), Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:29:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29509044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ungodlyi/pseuds/ungodlyi
Summary: a series of notes and rambles about the haikyuu universe.- please note that not all of the rambles are canon- also note that the information written in this book are just references so that you understand my writing and portrayal.- all my notes have been compiled into this book so that when you read the rest of the series, you understand where i am coming from !!!
Series: introspective ii [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2167686





	1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

the characters mentioned throughout this series are NOT my own characters. all rights belong to haruichi furudate, the creator of the haikyuu universe. the portrayal and interpretation of haikyuu characters are completely my own, unless stated otherwise. The events that have occurred in canon timelines are written based on my interpretation / my character’s perspective with some inspiration from headcanons and interactions with people within the hq community ( credit will be given when due ). furthermore, these muses have been created with my own imagination, with inspiration from characters that will be acknowledged later on throughout the series, hence any similarities may just be a coincidence.


	2. THE GRAND KING.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TOORU OIKAWA  
> \- notes for the book " insignificant "  
> \- not been edited.

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⠀⠀⠀‣ NOTE #1, 𝙵𝙰𝙼𝙸𝙻𝙸𝙰𝙻𝚃𝙸𝙴𝚂— Oikawa has an extremely complex and confusing relationship with his parents, especially his father.The relationship between Tooru and his father is quite complicated, whilst his father can be considered a very loving father, he can also be quite controllive.While his father may have Tooru’s best intentions in mind, he does tend to be a bit suffocating in his parenting methods.

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The impact that it has on Tooru is described in the document I have created so if you’re interested let me know && I’llsend you the link. ( I will also be creating a oneshot on this later on so if you’re patient :))) ).

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Growing up with his father, Oikawa has developed a few negative quirks which are often seen when he is highly distressed or even middle distressed. ( ie. unable to sit with his back facing open areas, unable to have people touch him without explicitly asking for his permission or unless he initiates it, doesn’t like aggressive yelling/arguing, scratching against his thighs or palms, etc. )

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 _ **SIDE NOTE:** _Oikawa was three when his mother left and he barely saw her after that. The last he had heard from her was when he was 7 and she had called him to wish him a happy birthday on white day. ( cue oikawa’s dislike for that day ). His relationship with his mother is practically non-existent.

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Since the departure of his mother, his motherly figure had become his Older Sister, Aiko. Hence why the relationship between him and his nephew can almost be described as brotherly/ sibling like.

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⠀⠀⠀‣ NOTE #2, 𝚁𝙴𝙻𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙿𝚂— Oikawa has a very hard time distinguishing between platonic and romantic relationships.

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He doesn't have a lot of time to date because of volleyball but he does indulge in a few dates from time to time and in those times, he can picture them falling in love and he can picture them happy. ( HE IS A HOPELESS ROMANTIC ). He can just see it, he can taste it.and he falls. And he falls so hard that he doesn't even feel the rush of air as he's plummeting, doesn't hear himself scream, doesn't even realise that the others don't feel the same way. People fall in love with the idea of oikawa, they don't really know him. They see what / he / wants them to see. He lets them fall for the perfect guy, he lets them fall for his facade. He doesn't realise that what he's doing is wrong, and if the thought ever occurred, it's quick to go because he dismisses it.

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Once Oikawa gets started, he becomes obsessed with the idea. He wants love. He wants to be loved. He doesn't want to be alone. He hates being alone. He doesn't want to end up like his mother who fell out of love with her 'soulmate' and walk out of his life. He doesn't want to end up like his father, heartbroken and drained of any life because he got left behind and now he buries himself in work. He doesn't want to be left behind. So Oikawa tries his best. He builds himself up in a way that people don't want to leave. He fixes himself to other people’s wants and desires. He won't say no. You want a bad boy; he'll give you a bad boy. You want a charming boyfriend who you can take to your parents. You got it. Oikawa is so lost in trying to change himself so his partner will stay with him that he loses himself in the process and that's truly sad.

THEREFORE, the relationship that your character has with Oikawa / WILL / depend on your character’s personality + behaviour. As someone who grew up in a household where everything was solely focused on keeping up an image and working to read between the lines. Oikawa unconsciously gets along with people who are blunt and very straight up ( ie. Iwaizumi. ). He’s naturally more inclined to get alone with someone who doesn’t bullshit him, however with his low self-esteem, there is also a possibility that he may butt heads with someone who is blunt but tactless ( ie. Ushijima ). He tends to unconsciously steer away from people who have similar personality as him and his father. However, there are some cases where he may idolise your character for having a similar personality. He may even find himself going out of his way to impress your character.

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He prefers people who know what they want in life ( or know how to stand up for themselves, etc ) then someone who is indecisive. He needs stability ( even in friendships !! ), however, he’s honestly a long way from being able to commit to something that is long term. ( which is why it’s still a surprise that was friends with iwa for so long ??? ). His trust issues blind him from what could have been a truly great relationship, hence why his friendship with the seijoh four are so important to him because between the three of them, they keep him grounded.⠀

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⠀⠀⠀‣ NOTE #3, 𝙵𝙴𝙰𝚁𝚂 ** _ && _**𝙸𝙼𝙿𝙰𝙲𝚃— If Oikawa was to face a boggart ( for non-potterheads, it’s essentially a ‘ creature’ that shows you your worst fears. ). It would most likely show his closest relationships ( ie. Saeki, Aiko, Iwaizumi, Matsukawa, Hanamaki, Kokai && Semi. ) and showcase them walking away from him. Perhaps it may even show a dusty knee pad, laying on a bench with the spotlight shining on a throne next to it. [ symbolic in the way that he has a injured knee && how he fears that kageyama “ the king “ may surpass him, leaving him to be forgotten in the shadows. Hence the spotlight. ]

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Oikawa's greatest fear is being forgotten / not being remembered / being left behind. Hence why he is so driven in everything he does. He needs to be the best in everything so he can be recognised. His unconscious goal is to be remembered for centuries, he wants to be the one everyone is cheering for, the one that everyone loves.

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His fears were set in stone the minute he was born. The words from his father are subconsciously murmuring in his mind. “ it’s just a matter of time before they leave you.” And he can almost hear those words whenever he begins to develop relationships. However, you would never know because Oikawa hides that extremely well. He makes you think you’re best friends, he makes you become attached to him because in his mind it’s better for you to be more attached to him then he is. It will hurt less if he learns to create the illusion of being attached.

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His fear in relation to making connections has a major impact on the way relationships are formed. For instance, all the “ little “ things he does are usually done for show. He knows how to manipulate the game into his favour && he’s learnt from the best. I genuinely believe that characters will have a hard time distinguishing between what’s real and not. Oikawa is a very “ here for good time, not a long time.” Its a quote that suits him well. He wants to have lasting connections and he wants his relationships to be real, but he doesn’t know how to do that. The reality is that he’s expecting for Iwaizumi to leave him one day && he does ( referring to timeskip era ). That shit would have hit him hard, honestly. This will be expanded more in a different analysis!!

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⠀⠀⠀‣ NOTE #4, 𝙴𝚃𝙷𝙽𝙸𝙲𝙸𝚃𝚈 ** _ && _**𝙲𝚄𝙻𝚃𝚄𝚁𝙴— Okay, so obviously Oikawa is Japanese, but I would like to play on the idea that Tooru is half/half. I’m considering to him make half Thai. It would fit a bit of my storyline with his father and stuff. Due to this, Oikawa would definitely have a fewtraits and morals that reflect the Japanese and Thai Culture, most of which have been implanted by his father ( who is a traditionalist ).

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For example, in many asian cultures, the idea of family plays a very predominant role. In Thai culture, family has a major emphasis and usually is applied to extended families as well. This affects Oikawa’s cognitive process. As previously stated, his father is one of the many influences in his life which caused him to have ‘ trust issues ’ && with his cultural background having major emphasis on the familia aspect, he has been led to believe that family is everything. ( ie. thought process and beliefs may include——blood is thicker than water, family can do no wrong, forgive them no matter what they have done to you, etc. ) With this in mind, Oikawa used to live with his grandparents until they passd away when he was 8. He was expected to do well in school as well as help his sister take care of the grandparents and house. ( His father would be working at this time.)

ANOTHER prime example of cultural influences may include RESPECT ( ie. Oikawa always adds suffixes to the end of people’s name, no matter what.TAKING his shoes off whenever he goes to people’s houses. He will always greet the adults before saying hi to those his age. He always says “ sorry for intruding” even in his own house and when the house is empty.HE ALWAYS brings something with him whenever he goes over to someone’s house. ),REPUTATION ( ie. not taking about his family/personal problems, having the mindset that he can’t cry, always putting on a happy front, doing well in school, dating the most ‘ popular’ or respected people. ) && SUPERSTITIOUS ( ie.believing that someone is thinking/talking about you when you sneeze,never makes hair appointments on Wednesdays,puts up a teru teru bouzu doll up when it rains for his father who hates the rain, dreams have meaning, wears his amulet NO MATTER WHAT. )

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⠀⠀⠀‣ NOTE #5, 𝚂𝙴𝙻𝙵-𝙿𝙴𝚁𝙲𝙴𝙿𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽 — oh to be someone who is self-confident but also insecure . . . oh to be tooru oikawa. Honestly, I’ve said this before but Oikawa’s number one enemy is himself. He sees himself as someone who never gets what he wants && in a sense he victimises himself. He wants to be great but sometimes, his minds stops him from being great && that’s something I find kinda sad.

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He’s constartnty at war inside his own mind hence why he always seems tired despite being energetic. He’s also someone who tends to complain about how tired and exhausted he is but get like 10 hours of sleep. He doesn’t know that he is actually emotionally and mentally drained and NOT PHYSICALLY TIRED. His perception of himself is completely distorted by his father who used psychological games to keep his son almost compliant. && while his father may have had good intentions, he went around it the wrong way which has had detrimental effects on Oikawa.

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Despite being extremely cocky and what some may call arrogant, it’s only when he is around other people ( ie. strangers ) when this side of him is shown. He’s often showcasing the ‘ I’m better than you’ attitude. As oppose to home, where he can be found standing in front of a mirror and picking at all his insecurities and flaws !!!!!!

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⠀⠀⠀‣ NOTE #6, 𝚂𝙴𝚇𝚄𝙰𝙻𝙸𝚃𝚈 ** _ && _**𝙴𝚁𝙾𝚃𝙸𝙲𝙸𝚂𝙼— Basically the part on Oikawa’s sexuality is copied and pasted from what I wrote before so <3.

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Oikawa is Pansexual. Growing up, Oikawa never really questioned why he thought boys and girls were pretty. He never felt the need to explain the attraction to others either, he thought that it was something normal. That everyone felt the same way he did.However, that thought process changed when he hit elementary school. He struggled a lot with his sexuality during this time as he soon discovered that there were ‘ _only_ ’ three sexualities: straight, lesbian or gay. ( This happened after he ‘verbally attacked’ after making an off hand comment about thinking both genders were attracted. He soon learnt that being lgbt+ was something looked down upon and that liking both genders ‘ wasn’t possible’. ) Despite that Oikawa continued to date anyone he pleased, however, when questioned about his sexuality he would usually respond with something along the lines of “ why are you curious, are you interested in a new boyfriend?”.

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Oikawa doesn’t see gender like everyone else. Where people see female, male, trans, non-binary, etc, Oikawa sees compatibility, love, safety, etc. It’s safe to say that Oikawa sees emotions and falls in love based on the emotional impact. He is never quiet about the person he is dating; unconsciously he sees dating as a form of validation. ( ie. he likes to boast about his partner’s achievements, constantly talking about the dates they go on, subtly asking his friends’ opinion on what they think of the present he got for his partner, etc. **_IN OTHER WORDS, HE SEE HIS PARTNER’S ACHIEVEMENTS AS HIS OWN ACHIEVEMENTS, SOMETHING HE CAN TAKE PRIDE IN HIMSELF_** ). Some of his behaviour stems from his childhood. He came to the conclusion that he was pansexual towards the end of his first year of high school. The first person he came out to was his older sister, Aiko.

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THIS IS WHERE IT GET’S KINDA INTERESTING. ( not really because I don’t get saucy, it’s more physiological based ) And if you are under 18 and/or uncomfortable with sexual content, please skip this part and go onto the next note. FOR DISCLAIMER PURPOSES: Oikawa is technically a consenting adult, he’s roughly 18 when the series is set hence why I’m not uncomfortable discussing sexual themes. WOULD LIKE TO ALSO SAY that this is an analysis && not something to sexualise Oikawa. ANYWAYS . . . Many people seem to have the assumption that Oikawa is a Twink &7 bottom && one of the many reasons I was put onto this Earth was to prove you wrong. FACT #1 Oikawa has no fucking ass, ion about you but idk what kind of person would type flatearther-kawa. ( for legal reasons this is a joke :D ).

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No but seriously, I genuinely believe the Oikawa would be DOMINANT or at least a switch. My portrayal of Oikawa sees him as someone who refuses to give up control and he will have a panic attack the moment he feels like he is losing control. His personality is demanding, caring ( to some extent), over-protective && driven. I don’t see how these traits could be seen in someone who could be submissive in bed. Personally, the way I see it, Oikawa is someone who takes the lead. Someone who likes to take control. He’s a natural born lead hence why people tend to flock to him. He would be the dominant one in the relationship because he genially wants to ensure that the people he cares about are protected, loved and safe. He would give up the world to ensure that they are happy, even if it means he has to sacrifice himself. Which I find extremely funny and contradicting because he’s also extremely selfish as well. I feel like Oikawa is the type of person to be into slight bids, maybe light bondage and sensory deprivation. Only because being in control is something that Oikawa finds satisfying ( he may have slight OCD, I’ll research more into that before I talk. )

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ANYWAYS continuing on . . . As someone who has controlled his whole life by his father, Oikawa seeks to be in controlled for once, hence he is motivated in bed to be assertive, to be seen as the one in control, etc. His mindset speaks in a way that demands that he is the one on top. He wants to priorties someone, instead of being priorities. He wants to do what he never got and that’s honestly affection which is why I would also like to put out there thatTOORU OIKAWA is a SOFT DOM. PERIOD.

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⠀⠀⠀‣ NOTE #7, 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙿𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙻𝙻𝙴𝙻𝚂— I was going to do a rant about his parallels but im way to lazy to continue this so I’ll list some of them :D !!!!

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Draco Malfoy. Peter Parker. Magnus Bane. Guren ( from ONS). Cassie Howard. Pietro Maximoff. Spencer Reid. Azula. Justin Foley. Percy Jackson.

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